July 2020 when our summer was amazing and I was still trying to heal, come to terms with everything that was changing and keep my mental health in check as much as possible, and that felt the hardest thing of all. Designed after Tranquility, ;v1 was the next step but not necessarily in the strongest way for me in healing. It was the one making me realise just how hurt and broken I felt within.
Back story to me: around 2014/2015 I suffered from depression and anxiety quite badly (being just 17/18 years old) and it was when I first thought that I can't actually deal with this life - I'm too sensitive for it. It's the first time I've really decided to share it throughout my artwork, but it resurface last summer quite drastically (albeit my anxiety has never really left me anyway - high functioning anxiety is a pain by the way), and this piece for me held so much weight because of the significance of a simple semi-colon.
You see the semi colon represents a story that isn't over, the story for the warrior who is fighting through their mental health challenges isn't over - as detailed by the creators of the Semi Colon Project. The semi colon project was designed to be a form of mental health awareness to others without having to be a big flashing sign for a person that says 'I'm going through a tough time at the moment'. It represents that a person never gave up, they chose not to give up and leave it all behind, they just had to have a pause from dealing with life, rather than implementing a complete full stop.
So coming back to July 2020, safe to say I was still pretty heartbroken, but my head wasn't in the best place. I felt weak, I felt helpless, I felt broken, so so so broken and I felt like I wasn't going to be able to pull through this time. I was still going through counselling (still am too), and every session was about him, the break up, how I felt, how I felt so weak to the extent of using a batman metaphorical reference of hiding in a cave to rebuild myself. I was hiding how bad I was because I knew the toll it would take on my family again if they knew how broken I was again - it wasn't easy the first time, the second time round was not going to be any easier. This break up was worse than the previous with that artist ex, all because I loved him a million times more and sometimes, as beautiful as love it, it really does damn hurt when you feel it being snatched away from you for such a crap reason. I found refuge within finding my own sanity again in artwork as always, but I felt compelled to design a piece reflecting that even the strongest people can go through a tough time - and there came the birth of the semi colon piece.
Designed in Knighton Park on what was one of the best summer days, the semi colon piece reflected myself at the time. Since I'm in love with tattoos, I decided to do it in a geometric style, it was a piece I wanted people to feel empowered having, not something that a person felt they needed to hide discreetly (although they can if they wish but you know). It was a piece that I felt was so strong because it reminds up we hold parts of the universe within us, we hold so much more energy than we think.
A lot of people fear having mental health problems because of the stigma around it, being Indian, there's a lot of it within our culture. "My child is ill! Who will marry them?! What will people think of us as a family?!" It's all BS. So many people in the world suffer from depression and anxiety, particularly those who are more drawn toward a spiritual path or have a strong resonation with finding a higher consciousness - they're more inclined to feel the weight of the world in higher intensities = it's shit, it's rough, it's soul draining sometimes and it beats you down, but those who pull through find a new sense of self, and eventually their own path.
The semi colon piece was about owning your mental health. Owning who you are. Accepting it's a shit time but feeling brave, courageous, strong for the fact you chose to stick out to see the next chapter, heck even the next sentence and few words within them. It was a piece that was designed to help raise awareness of how serious mental health issues can be, how much they can break a person because after all what's more powerful than your own mind, your own self? We often forget the fact that we are raw energy too and our frequencies can be so strong and so easily affected, we forget that even the strongest soldiers need a break, a time to slow down and stop running at a hundred miles an hour all the time. We need to trust the process, that every battle is given to a warrior who has the strength within them to overcome this if only they learn to dig deep enough to hit the jackpot of treasure.
I urge you, if you are currently dealing with a weakened mental health state, to reach out to a loved one, to find something that sparks your soul again, to pick up the phone to a helpline or counsellor or therapist and to seek the help, guidance and assistance you need to get back to your full hearted self. There is no shame in admitting you need a little guidance every now and again, there is nothing to be afraid of in trying to find the help to battle an inner demon or two. You will come through this, you will pull through this, and you will be okay. A tunnel always has light at the end of it, regardless of how dark and bending it is.
For those who wish to, you can shop ;V1 here.
Thank you for reading & keep your eyes peeled for future piece meanings being shared across the blog and also socials. Feel free to share your thoughts, comments and even your own interpretations in the comments below or if you wish to let me know privately - I'm always social on emails and my social media channels.
One love - Simmy. x